I Don’t Want to Be

If I were a girl, I would always be scared
Because the world is not built for you and me.
It crumbles beneath our kitten heels, so
We learn to tap dance around the
Gaping holes.
If I were a worm, I’d like to be split In half
Then I'd have two chances to get it
Right.
I’d dig into the earth and sleep in the wet.
I’d adapt to devour my own shit until
I could not survive on anything more.
If you’re a girl, that means you need to change.
When you need, you owe, and when you
Owe, you’re forced into someone new.
If I were a secret, I’d morph from mustache
To ear and tongue to cheek until I am
Unrecognizable from my start. Then
I could stay hidden forever.
I am a girl. I am a worm. I am a secret.
I don’t want to be
Wrong.

- Hannah Guggenheim
1944, Berlin